Thursday, December 24, 2015

Advent Calendar 24/25

So I'm going to see Hamilton on Broadway this summer.

HYPE

Thank you so much to my grandparents.

I think I found my Christmas spirit. And I didn't find it in the gifts or the roast beast. I found it in the people around me. I found it in the joy and love in the room. The excitement in the air before gifts. The love behind the gifts, the generosity. The music in the air, the specials on TV. The love between people. I've been so busy and stressed the last few weeks I was unable to see what was in front of me the whole time,

People love me and I love people.

And to all my people out there, I love you and I'm always thinking of you and trying to be the best me I can be for you. I want to make you all proud of me. I'm just a kid trying to do the best that I can because so many people are behind me and support me and make so many sacrifices for me, and I want your sacrifices, your investments in me, I want them to mean something. I love you all.

Christmas is a special time of year for people, me too. And it's because it's a time where it's encouraged to be loving, and put aside personal agendas.

I used to be a very selfish and angry young man. Back when I started this blog, I was closed off and cynical. I wasn't optimistic and loving and caring as I could have been, but then this blog became more than me, people started responding so positively, people started talking about how much this meant to them and how much it helped them, and then this blog, it became more than just me. And I started to open up, like a flower first experiencing warmth after a long cold winter. 9th grade Bailey had had the world pulled out from underneath him, and that lead to a pretty messed up 10th grade Bailey, a Bailey who was angry and scared and broken more than he knew how to deal with. And then this blog happened, and the people in his life didn't give up on him. And he grew into 11th grade Bailey, who kept trying. And Now he grew into me. And I'm just a kid trying to do the best I can. I grey past my tragedy, past my anger, pain, and fear. I grew to face my self loathing and maybe even past it to a certain degree. I'm now a man who is more in control of his life than he ever knew was possible. And I'm doing so many things that I never thought I'd do or be able to have, and it's because of the people in my life who love and support me. Thank you, thank you all.

I love you.

Happy Holidays.

Love,
Bailey S. Fox

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