Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Advent Calendar 16/25

I am a performer.

It is my nature.

Yet I am a sincere person.

Most people believe these to be opposite, because performers put on personas and costumes and because they become other people. But, a mentor of mine once said: "Acting isn't a lie, it's telling other people's truths." And that really speaks to me, because I never feel like a liar up on the stage, I don't even like to lie to people. I feel like I'm expressing emotions I have felt in my life, I'm telling a story, it might not be mine but it's a story. I draw on things I have felt and experienced in the past and channeling them into new situations. Even when I'm not acting on stage, when I'm singing or playing an instrument, it's a performance, I'm channeling the emotion from the song into the performance, was I mourning a death tonight while performing Lacrymosa? No, not in particular, but I felt the weight and the sadness that the song is expressing, and I channeled that into my singing.

The best actors I've ever known are some of the most genuine and best humans I have ever met. They aren't fake like often portrayed in the movies.

People often assume a lack of sincerity from me because I am a gushing person. I can go on and on about how much I love things or enjoy them or what have you, and they assume my feelings are on supply and demand, the more I say it and provide the less they mean, and to an extent that can be true. But every time I talk about how much I friggin love George Gershwin it is as sincere as it was the last one thousand times and it will be that sincere the next one thousand times. (Come see Crazy for You, January 8-10th)

It is important that despite my often cynical and sarcastic nature people know that I am both often sincere and optimistic. How much I love people and the world and everything. And that's what this blog is meant for. It's supposed to be a behind the scenes look, to see how and why I do what I do.

I said yesterday in one of my favorite blog posts I have ever written (Here) in how I'm done being a tragic person. And I stand by that, it's time for me to be triumphant. I performed my heart out and I worked my ass of to do everything I did tonight and I could not be prouder. I can not thank the people who came to the show and who performed along with me tonight, it's been an honor. Truly. I'm proud of me and who I have become.

I was asked today if I consider myself a journalist of sorts, and I don't. I decided to use the term "Essayist" to describe what I do with the blog and what not, and I think I'm going to stick with that, I liked the way it sounded. Bailey S. Fox, Screenplay writer, essayist, actor, jackass.

I'm so thankful for tonight.

I'm so thankful for the people in my life and those who love me and support me.

Thank you.

I am triumphant.

I am writer, read me roar.


Happy Holidays.

Love,
Bailey S. Fox  <3

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