Soul In a Purse (Short Story)

Note: The following is a short story I recently submitted to a writing contest. It is called "Soul In A Purse". Enjoy -Bailey S. Fox

It was an average November New York City day. The skies were cold and the color of iron and  the streets were bitterly cold. Jonas was in his 57^th street apartment with his girlfriend, Lucy.

“I'm sorry Jonas, I just don't think it's going to work out between us.” Lucy said, her crimson lips forming the words that stabbed Jonas like a knife in the heart.

“Why? I don't understand.” Jonas said, his brain struggled to form words. It felt as if his soul was being ripped from his chest.

He looked down, it was.

“What the-” Jonas exclaimed. Lucy's hand was in his chest.

“Shh, talking makes it hurt more.” Lucy said, a devilish grin on her lips. “I mean really, what did you expect?” She went on fishing around in his chest. “My name is Lucy S. Atan. Lucifer Satan, did you really not figure that out? I wear red, all the time, literally every day.”

“So wait, I've been dating a dude the last three years?” Jonas said, his brain wasn't fully grasping the situation at hand.

“Is that really the first question you're asking?” She looked at Jonas, when he didn't respond she went on. “To answer your question, no. I have no defined gender. Neither does god for that matter. We can be either or, or neither. It doesn't really matter to be perfectly honest. Though it seems society likes to make us male traditionally. How misogynistic.” She fished around for a few more moments. “I here it is! A bit hard to find, it seems you're not exactly the passionate type. Or the moral type for that matter, though I know that, I dated you for three years.”

“You weren't exactly an angel yourself, Lucy.”

“Technically I am but I'm a fallen... oh why bother explaining. Well, I'll be taking this.” She said waiving his soul at him.

“Shouldn't I be dead or something? You do have my soul and broke my heart and stuff.”

“Oh no silly, that's not how this works. See your soul is the home of your emotions and your passion and your morals. All of your creativity and feelings and ethics are in here.” She said dropping the soul into her purse. “You'll still be alive, you'll have all of your intelligence... not that there's much of that. But you'll be like a drone, you'll still talk and everything. You'll be amoral. You'll be very neutral. Doesn't that sound like fun?”

“Why are you taking my soul? What did I do to you?”Jonas said in a monotone voice.

“You were a lousy boyfriend. You forgot our anniversary all three times.”

“No I only forgot twice, our three year is next week.” Jonas said maintaining the same pitch in his voice.

“It was last week you fool. This is why I'm dumping you.” She screamed in his face.

 “But do you need to take my soul?”

“Well, you know what they say...” She put on sunglasses and headed for the door “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.” She winked before disappearing in puff of smoke.

Jonas stood there dumbfounded as the smoke wafted up and set of the alarm system in his apartment. Water rained from the sprinklers.

“I dated the devil...” Jonas stood there as he was soaked by the pour of water from the ceiling came down upon him.

Later that week Jonas sat in his best friend's apartment in Queens.

“It smells in here, you're a slob and you're balding.” Jonas said without any emotion.

“You've become a real jerk since you lost your soul, you know that?” Jonas's best friend Mike said to him.

“I'm just telling you the truth.”

 “Well it seems we're out of luck. I can't find anything on Google about reclaiming your soul from your devil ex-girlfriend. The most I can find is a satanic church and a bunch of guys crying over being dumped.”

“Google how to summon the devil.”

“On it. If I get dragged to hell I'm bringing your soulless butt with me.”

“Sure thing.”

Six hours later Jonas and Mike were in the middle of a salt pentagram and a bunch of scented candles.

“We have to clean this all up before Jenny gets home, if she finds out I summoned the devil with her bath candles we might be down another soul.”

“Sure thing, just start the chant.” Jonas replied.

After several minutes of throat shredding chants, Lucy appeared in the living room. Except it wasn't 

Lucy, it was a black haired man in his thirties in a charcoal suit and a red tie.

“Really Jonas? You're going to summon me and have Mike here beg for your soul back?”

“That was more or less the whole idea.” Jonas said.

“Jonas, how has your life changed in the last week?” Lucy asked, though it was weird to hear her words come from a male voice.

“It hasn't really.”

“Exactly, Jonas, you rarely used your soul. You work 9-5 in a Walmart. If anything I helped you there. What did you say you always were going to do?” Lucy questioned.

“Well I was going to become a writer.”

“Exactly that's what you went to college for. That's where I met you. You were 22 at NYU about to graduate. Here we are 3 years later and you haven't written a thing. You never did anything after you graduated. You've been putting off your dreams. So I took your soul, you weren't using it anyways. At least you can't hate your job any more.”

“I want it back.”

“You can't have it back, it's already damaged from the removal. It was so unused. I'd have to give you a new one and you'd waste it. That is if you survived the shock of receiving a whole new soul.”

“I'll do it, what have I got to lose?” Jonas said.

“You always have something to lose, like your life.” Lucy replied.

“I'll gamble my life for a new soul.”

“That's awfully suicidal for a man who can't feel any desire to die.”

“How are we going to do this?”

“We're going to do it the old fashion way. You're going to have a drinking game with the devil.”

“You're not even human, that's not fair.”

“You don't have a soul to care.”

“What's the game?” Jonas asked. Surveying his odds.

“It's a classic. Whichever one of us can do the most shots without vomiting or passing out wins your life and a new soul.” Lucy said.

They pulled a table to the middle of the room. Go two chairs, shot glasses and bottles of booze.

“Jonas, what good is a new soul if your liver fails?” Mike questioned nervously.

“Like she said, I don't have a soul to care.”

The former couple sat at the table. Lucy had changed faces once more, she was back to her old self. For some reason this didn't help Jonas.

“Hello, I am your waiter for tonight and our special is the devil in the bottle.” Mike said trying to break the awkwardness.

“Shut up and pour.” Lucy said, steel in her voice. She was determined not to lose.”

Jonas and Lucy took their first shot, and their second, and so on. Jonas could swear Charlie Daniels' 

 “The Devil Came Down To Georgia” was playing as they knocked back an ever-increasing amount of shots.

After an eternity and three bottles, Lucy and Jonas were clinging to their consciousness and their lunches. Lucy knocked back half a shot before it spilled and she passed out. Jonas threw his shot back and raised his hands in victory. Then, his liver failed and he died.

He awoke to a white nothingness. He was wearing all gray. He looked around and spotted Lucy in a blue dress.

“I like the change of color.” Jonas said. “Oh my god I like something, my soul is back!”

“Congratulations, you gave the devil alcohol poisoning and won back your soul. Here you are in limbo as the fates decide what to do with you. You dated the devil for three years and they don't like that but you killed my mortal body tapping me in Hell for a while. At least a century or two before I'll be back to tempt you mortals.”

“Is this a good enough deed I can go back alive.”

“It might be, so what are you going to do if you go back?”

“I'm going to quit Walmart. I have an interesting enough story here. I'll write it down and send it to every publisher I can. If that doesn't work I'll self publish. It might be better to do that. The last thing I need is to sell my soul to another person.”

Lucy laughed, “Well I wish you the best of luck.”

“Are you going to stick with the blue?”

“I might, do you think is suits me?”

“It does, who says the devil needs to be decked in red all the time?” Jonas said laughing. He noticed his surroundings start to change.

“Good bye Jonas, looks like you're going back after all. Don't let me down. Also make sure you do me justice in your book. I can still make your life difficult from Hell.”

“Yes, ma'am” Jonas said with a salute.

Jonas woke up in a hospital room. A crowd of doctors around him.

“It's a miracle!” one cried.

“He was dead for 15 minutes!” another one said. More doctors made similar cries. Jonas laughed, it felt good to be alive.

Three weeks after his death and rebirth he walked into Walmart. Jonas now had a white streak in his dark hair. It appeared after his rebirth. He liked it, it added to the half dead persona. Jonas marched into the manager's office. After a few minutes he emerged, now unemployed. Jonas couldn't care less. This was the best he had felt in years.

Later that night he sad down in his apartment. He opened up Microsoft word and began typing his story. A year and a half later it would find its way onto the New York Times Best Seller list right above Patterson's latest Alex Cross novel. Jonas would continue to write tales of the half dead man and his Devil ex-girlfriend.