It's 4:30 AM and I'm sitting in a Costa Rican airport waiting to board my flight in an hour using the airport's free wifi to write this blog post. I've spent the last nine days here in Costa Rica, the longest and farthest I've been away from home and my family. It's been an incredible experience, I've done so many things I never even dreamed of. I rode a zip line that was nearly a mile long, hiked through The Rain Forrest, eaten my weight in rice and beans, seen a volcano, and had an absolutely life changing and wonderful time, but it's time to come home.
Seeing as I've been gone for over a week I've been thinking about what home means. It's never been much of a secret I've never felt like Newfield was the perfect fit for me, and while the town is preferable to some of the alternatives, I've known for quite some time that this place and I wold always be at odds. Yet, as I sit here I find myself longing to return. Return to the lousy weather, the chores, the work, to school, everything that encompasses being home in Newfield. I miss my friends and the time I spent with them and talking to them, I miss my family, who I probably didn't call enough or talk to enough in my globe trotting adventures.
I missed my mother's birthday in my adventures, March 28th, eight days after mine. She was instrumental in getting me to Costa Rica, without her I couldn't have come here, and I cannot adequately express my gratitude for everything she has helped with and done for me. Hopefully she appreciates how much I've missed her and appreciate her and everything she has done to get me to Costa Rica.
So, now that I've been away for so long, I've really thought about what home is and what it means to me. I believe it can mean a lot of things and be them as well. Most importantly it's an idea, it's a feeling, a sense of security and like you belong. This feeling can manifest itself in any number of ways, in people, in places, in foods, smells, in the pixels on a screen, in between pages of a book, home can be anywhere, anything, that gives you the feelings of safety and belonging. You don't have to confine home to one place or person or one thing, as much as it pains me, Newfield is my home, it's where I'm from, I cut my teeth in these muddy back roads and dimly lit hallways. I don't want anyone to get the idea that I think I am superior to them for my feelings towards Newfield. This isn't a big fish in a little pond situation, this is my feeling at odds with a town. But Newfield isn't the only home I have, I have a home on the stage, I have a home with my friends, I have a home with my family, I have a home in The office at the Just Because Center, At the Storm Drain down the road from my house, I have a home at the library. I have a home in the pages of the books I read, I have a home in the words I put in this blog, I have a home in the clothes that I wear, I have a home in my head, I have a home in the practice room at school, I have a home on social media, I will someday have a home that may be far away from Newfield, but that doesn't mean Newfield isn't my home.. And as shallow, superficial and lame as some of these may sound, these are the places and people that I feel at home with. Home can be whatever you make it, it can be the carpet underneath your feet, within the notes of a song, it can be in the presence of people or alone in your room. Home is a source of happiness, a place to be you. Happiness is anyone and anything at all, that is loved by you.
I plan on traveling much more, as much as I can, but I will always wander my way back home. Whether it be the home I find in my blog or in the pages of a book, a home I find in people, a home I find in my bed, whatever it is, I will always come home.
As always thank you all so much for reading, I love you all dearly.
<3
Bailey S. Fox
Seeing as I've been gone for over a week I've been thinking about what home means. It's never been much of a secret I've never felt like Newfield was the perfect fit for me, and while the town is preferable to some of the alternatives, I've known for quite some time that this place and I wold always be at odds. Yet, as I sit here I find myself longing to return. Return to the lousy weather, the chores, the work, to school, everything that encompasses being home in Newfield. I miss my friends and the time I spent with them and talking to them, I miss my family, who I probably didn't call enough or talk to enough in my globe trotting adventures.
I missed my mother's birthday in my adventures, March 28th, eight days after mine. She was instrumental in getting me to Costa Rica, without her I couldn't have come here, and I cannot adequately express my gratitude for everything she has helped with and done for me. Hopefully she appreciates how much I've missed her and appreciate her and everything she has done to get me to Costa Rica.
So, now that I've been away for so long, I've really thought about what home is and what it means to me. I believe it can mean a lot of things and be them as well. Most importantly it's an idea, it's a feeling, a sense of security and like you belong. This feeling can manifest itself in any number of ways, in people, in places, in foods, smells, in the pixels on a screen, in between pages of a book, home can be anywhere, anything, that gives you the feelings of safety and belonging. You don't have to confine home to one place or person or one thing, as much as it pains me, Newfield is my home, it's where I'm from, I cut my teeth in these muddy back roads and dimly lit hallways. I don't want anyone to get the idea that I think I am superior to them for my feelings towards Newfield. This isn't a big fish in a little pond situation, this is my feeling at odds with a town. But Newfield isn't the only home I have, I have a home on the stage, I have a home with my friends, I have a home with my family, I have a home in The office at the Just Because Center, At the Storm Drain down the road from my house, I have a home at the library. I have a home in the pages of the books I read, I have a home in the words I put in this blog, I have a home in the clothes that I wear, I have a home in my head, I have a home in the practice room at school, I have a home on social media, I will someday have a home that may be far away from Newfield, but that doesn't mean Newfield isn't my home.. And as shallow, superficial and lame as some of these may sound, these are the places and people that I feel at home with. Home can be whatever you make it, it can be the carpet underneath your feet, within the notes of a song, it can be in the presence of people or alone in your room. Home is a source of happiness, a place to be you. Happiness is anyone and anything at all, that is loved by you.
I plan on traveling much more, as much as I can, but I will always wander my way back home. Whether it be the home I find in my blog or in the pages of a book, a home I find in people, a home I find in my bed, whatever it is, I will always come home.
As always thank you all so much for reading, I love you all dearly.
<3
Bailey S. Fox
No comments:
Post a Comment