2015, a Retrospective

I'm sitting here, sipping coffee and thinking about what I want to, what I need to say for my year end post, and I'll tell you, it's not an easy task. But here I go, also, every year end retrospective needs inspiring music behind it, so please follow this link and listen to this in the background as you read this.

It's really hard to do a whole year justice, because it's a huge chunk of time. It's really easy to let bad things spoil the good things, and forget that they ever happened. So I'm not going to do that, I'm going to try and give the most positive look back at 2015 that I can, because truthfully it was a good year, and a lot of good came out of it. And because of this year I'm a better man, so here you are, 2015. This one is for you.

So let's start out with this quote.

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And this was said by my lovely friend Ilana Wallenstein. Co-founder of the Honest Beauty Project, which takes pictures like these

I took this one I am so proud.

And uses the pictures to help instill a new definition of beauty into the public conscious, about one that is more than just physical features, but one of character and depth. Please read more into this.

Now back to the quote. I really think I'm a good person, I work really hard at being a good person. I want to be the kind of person people are proud to introduce to their friends and their loved ones. I want to be the kind of person people look up to the kind of person that people just stand around and go "You know, that Bailey guy, what a guy." And I want to be the best me that I can be. And I think 2015 was a lot of me growing into that. I saw this comic written by this tumblr user and it really spoke to me. It really meant something to me.

And it really helped to hear that, because I don't quite know who I am yet. I'm just 17 years old, and while that is some time to be kicking around, I don't think I'm fully formed yet. I still have a lot of growing to do, and a lot of time to do it. And I think, no, I know that I am a good man. I believe after all these years I can say that I am a good man. And it's been a hell of a journey to get to being a good man, I think I've gotten there. I think I have out grown my more negative attributes that have plagued me in the past, and I can finally say with certainty that I am a good man. And I think next year, I can be even better.

Now let's do some looking back at 2015, if you haven't figured out by now this is going to be a lot of pictures because while a good man I am a narcissistic one and I take a lot of pictures of myself.

I performed in Carnegie Hall

I had one of my biggest roles to date in a show

Went to another country

Saw my favorite band live

Got the master sword and took the only good side view pic of me there is.

Took weirdly homoerotic photos with my friends

Saw 13

Sang one of my favorite solos ever (PC George Cannon Images)

Wrote a script

Died a bit

Learned to play bass

I was link

Met this sweet parrot

Was a superhero 

Was Marty McFly

I was serenaded by the lead singer of my other favorite band

Got my head in the game

AND I SAW STAR WARS

And in between these photos so many other things happened, I crowd surfed I ran lights for a professional show, I rode a zipline nearly a mile long, I got good grades in school and I did so many other wonderful things I can't even begin to recall. There are just so many experiences I'm thankful for. And I'm thankful for the person I have become, and I'm thankful for the people who came with me on my adventures this year.

 Does this mean I'm now going to do a bunch of pictures of my friends where I thank them a bunch? You bet your sweet ass I am.

LET'S DO THIS

Hey, Erik and Luke.

I love you guys, I really do. You guys are always paying for me with stuff and always helping me out and taking care of me when I mix up, you're the best straight gay parents a boy could have. And I'm really thankful to have both of you in my life. You two are always there with a Gamerfuel and a quick joke to brighten my day. I will always have your backs. Love you guys <3

Us protesting the dress code together

Hey, Tyler, I hope you didn't think I forgot about you.

Tyler, you're the middle ground in the friend group that we all desperately need as a pack of human extremes you service to level us out and you do a lot of good for us in the friend group. Also as a friend you're always there for that hug when I have emotionally emptied myself or I didn't get the lead in the fall school play or maybe when the gym coach won't stop telling me why he's so cool You're always there even in a brown Banana situation and I could not have gotten through 2015 without you. <3

Jeffrey and Marissa.

Hey guys, I'm switching up the format here. Remember that time I came to you because I was questioning my sexuality? Well that was 2014, but remember that time I figured out I was Bisexual over the summer? That was pretty cool. Remember how I just came out as Bi to the whole internet? That's also pretty cool. You guys were the first to know, which is why I waited until now to tell the whole internet. Hey internet, I hope you guys are cool with this. <3 Jeffrey and Marissa, I love you guys, thanks for everything. See y'all in 2016.

Okay, quick aside to talk about the whole bisexual thing. No it doesn't mean I love Caitlin any less, she knows and she is okay with it. Also Yes, I am the guy who has had a million girlfriends so what does that teach you about judging a book by its cover, eh? Maybe some things take time to really figure out. I guess I waited this long to tell everyone because truthfully I'm really afraid of how people are going to react. Like I don't want this huge freak out, it's not that big of a deal, the fact that most of you didn't know goes to show that this doesn't change who I am. No I have not dated a dude, but I have kissed one. And well, there is always gay porn. Oh god, family I'm so sorry you just had to read that. Oh well, you all knew anyway. I added this in here because I feel like it's a disservice to the year if I don't talk about one of the biggest personal things I have found out about myself this year. Also, Mom, Dad, maybe you got the straight child with Max. Thank you all for loving me and supporting me, I hope you all enjoy the rest of this post as I thank a bunch more people.

Also Jack, now your joke is correct.

Hey Jesse, we didn't meet all that long ago, but from the moment I met you you were a remarkably cool dude. You came and saw 13, you drive me to wings, you have saved my ass, and you're just one of the best people I have met in 2015, you're a huge teddy bear of a man and you're just one of the best men I know all around. Thank you for all that you have done for me in the few months that I've known you and I can't wait to see what we do in 2016. Wings? <3

Natasha And Zozha

Sha Zha pronounced the same way, spelled differently, don't know why it took me this long to figure that joke out. Anyway, you guys brought me like 24 roses to 13, (damn it 13 will not stop coming up) and you two have like everyone else on this list, loved and supported me, more so than I might have deserved at times. It's been a wild year, with a lot of shit going down. But we have made it through, and I could not have without you guys. You guys are always making sure I'm okay and always knowing when I'm totally lying to you guys about being okay. And always available for those hugs when I'm lying. Thank you guys, Happy New Year. <3

Ilana,

So basically you were the last person I ever thought I'd call my best friend because you're way cooler than me, but when it happened, it seemed so obvious that it was harder to believe it hadn't happened sooner. It's really easy to be around you and talk to you because we understand each other well enough to know that even though we do lousy things sometimes we're still really good people. I'm always going to be here for you, if you ever get back from Chile that is. And I know you're always going to be here for me. I can't wait to see you again in four months. You owe me dinner, I won the bet. And I'll literally see you in 2016, like legit not until then. Anyway, have fun and get home safe. I'll see you when you get home. <3

Reanna,

You have shown me such kindness and compassion in the last year that I don't know how to properly thank you. You have been here for me and allowed me to ruin an otherwise romantic night of you and Luke with my sadness. And even after that you gave a worry stone which I still carry with me everywhere I go in the front pocket of my jacket. You have been there for me in a way I didn't think my best friend's girlfriend would have to be. And while that sounds like a weird sentence it's not. I know I'm not always your favorite of Luke's friends, but your kindness has meant the world to me and I can never repay you for it. The Red suit is totally worth it, trust me. Happy New Year, Reanna.

Nicko,

You're another person I met in 2015, I met you a few times in person, but our first moment together was when you became my cover photo as a young child. Then we became closer and shared many meals of wings together and long nights with many adventures. And though I've only known you for a brief period of time, I can't wait to know you for so many more years. I'm so honored at how included you have made me felt in your friend group and in your life and I am so thankful for your hospitality and generosity. Auld Lang Sine, or something, right?

Ashley,

Ash, you came all the way from Hell, I mean Ohio, to surprise me on my 17th birthday and see my show, and that was one of the best gifts anyone has ever given me. I can't stress enough how thankful for you I am. You're always just a text away with calming words or cynical wisdom. And with your Berning political opinions I know I am just a minute away from a great political discussion. Or maybe just a chat about life. You're the tops, Ash. Never forget that. Feliz navidad? 

ANNIE!!!

HEY, THIS POST HAS BEEN IN THE PROCESS OF BEING WRITTEN FOR TWO HOURS AND I'M KINDA GOING INSANE RN!!

Anyway, Annie, I love you so much and we have so many great moments and adventures and you have done so much for me I cannot even begin to thank you. As someone who will always drive me places even to Hell, I mean Ohio again, We have spent countless hours together adventuring and you have spent countless listening to my music, and I have spent countless hours listening to Fall Out Boy, together we make a killer team and I cannot begin to thank you for the love you have shown me over the years. Something about Kwanza.

IAN

Ian, you're my protege, and I am so proud of the young man you have grown into. You're smart, clever, funny as all hell, and a great friend. We have been in different countries together, in NYC together, and we have worked together for the last year, and though we have had our ups and downs, you are one of my closest friends and I think the absolute world of you. Thank you for putting up with my this year, I know I'm a lot to listen to. Especially when I'm always trying to tell you what to do. You're a good man and I'm proud of you and I can't wait to see what 2016 holds for you. Namaste.

ELI

Eli you are a demi god and you have the soul of a champion. You're a dedicated worker and a strong man, both physically and emotionally. We always have the best talks about comics and super heroes and I can't wait to continue them in 2016 with things like Batman V Superman and also Civil War, the year is hype for superheroes and so am I. I'm also very proud of you acomplishments including becoming an eagle scout and generally being a bad ass sergeant. Godspeed, Eli. Have a great new year.

JORDAN, ALEX, AND CURTIS

Though I have never met you guys in real life, your love and support in the Mutual Admiration Society had been one of the constants in my life, not only in this last year, but in the last several. Our hours on skype, and our photoshops and debates on pop culture, our support for each others as creators and consumers is one thing that brings joy to my life every day. And while I don't have a picture of the four of us together, I do have this sweet photo that I believe Alex made so I'll use that. Thank you guys so much for everything. So long and thanks for all the fish.

NICK

Nick my son. You're the coolest kid, a great drummer, and a great dancer, and I cannot thank you enough for saving my ass on Wednesday. You're a great kid and you have done so much for me and you're just a talent powerhouse in general. You have such an incredible future ahead of you I can't wait to see it. And though you're just 12 years old and just getting started, you have a blindingly bright future ahead of you. I'm so proud of you. Joyous candlenights, nick.

13 strikes again

Camryn.

Today is your 16th birthday and although I wrote something on your wall I'll say it here again. You're my least problematic fave. You're a wonderful girl who has the world to offer to anyone you choose. And I can't wait to see you in 2016. In 2015 I saw you come out to the world, I saw you audition for the High School show, and I saw you just generally be one of the most genuinely amazing people I have ever met. Camryn, you're the best. Don't ever ever forget that. Please, happy new year and happy birthday, Camryn, I love you, sis. <3

Caitlin.

OH god, you're going to talk about a girlfriend again?? God I hate you Bailey, is this one like all the others? Where we'll read you cry in two months.

No, she isn't I promise you, blog, this is the last girlfriend I will ever write about.

Caitlin, we're in two shows together, you have put of with my rampant, obnoxious behavior, and you're so wonderfully accepting of my bisexuality, and just everything about me, I can't thank you enough for all the wonderfulness you bring into my life. Thank you. Thank you so much. I'm really glad you got to meet my family and I know they loved you. I also know New Years is your favorite holiday which is why you're also in this post, not just because you have been a huge part of my year. And while I don't know what we are doing for new years yet, (suggestions anyone?) I know it's going to be wonderful to have it with you. Happy New Year, dear.

That's it.

That is everyone I have to thank and everything I have to say about 2015. It's been a hell of a year and I cannot stress enough how much everyone has helped make it a great year. I was wrong for ever doubting 2015, over the last 129 minutes and 20 seconds I have spent writing this post (That's 40 plays of Ecstasy of Gold, if you were wondering) I have been reminded how wonderful 2015 was and how great this year was for me. All the amazing things I have accomplished and done and all the amazing friends I have had to help me along the way. I know I didn't thank any adults in this post and that not because there aren't any, but I just wanted to focus on my friends in this one. I hope the adults in my life know how much they have helped me and how much I love them too. Maybe there will be another post. Well, not one for this year anyway. But Thank you all so much for reading this and supporting me. Thank you for the 10,00 views and thank you for the nice comments and the love I have received. 

Happy New Years.

See you again in 2016

Love,

Bailey S. Fox <3