In defense of the Hopeless Optimist

My name is Bailey S. Fox. The S stands for Something, like in Harriet the Spy. I'm named after Fox Mulder and an alcoholic drink. I'm 17 years old and I like to write, act, and adventure. I'm a dopey kid but I don't think that's a bad thing. I've always wanted to be a knight in shinning armor. I enjoy puns and black coffee and to some that makes me the worst person and to some that makes me the best. I'm an optimist. Not all of you believe that. But that's alright. I believe all people are basically good but that doesn't mean people can't be dicks and yes there are obvious exceptions. I'm wearing a calculator watch and my hands are covered in florescent pink spray paint. Sometimes I'm depressed and sometimes I'm not. I'm not right now.

It's been a few weeks since I updated.

Sorry.

I got a new computer. Got a girlfriend. Bought a watch.

I believe the one thing that has kept me going is optimism.

Sometimes shit is shit and that's alright. I believe it will get better, at worst at least it will be different. I've spent a lot of time degrading myself and defending myself in hopes that people will like me if they think I'm someone else. I talk a lot of shit about 7th grade Bailey, but 7th grade Bailey was a good kid, maybe he wasn't always right, but he had good intentions. He loved the world just as much and I do now. He was a lot more insecure than I am, and I'm still pretty insecure. But I've embraced a lot of parts of me that 7th grade Bailey couldn't.

I'm not very masculine, and that's alright.

I'm not good at sports. That's alright.

I don't fit in. It's alright.

I'm loud and obnoxious. It's alright.

Because I found this acceptance in myself, I embraced my passions and my skills and I focused on that. I'm never going to be athletic, and there is nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with those who are.

When I bought the heart shaped sunglasses it was to piss of my parents. They hate when I buy stuff like that. They thought I looked weird. But I didn't care, I liked the sunglasses. They have become a staple. Look how badass I look in this photo.

And some people call me gay, and that's okay. I'm not sure what the shape of my sunglasses has to do with what genitalia I prefer and I'm not sure it's anyone's business where I stand.

I think there is a lot of freedom in self-indulgence. We are taught as people it is better to hate oneself because that is the only way to achieve beauty and wealth. We forego the cake and the movie for running and work. And while it's important to be healthy, I think it is equally important to indulge yourself. Because you're worth it, damn it.

I think it's important to maintain optimism. It's really easy to assume that things are shitty and that's the way it's going to stay. But I don't jive well with that. If everything is going to be shitty then what is the point of getting up. I think the only reason anyone has seen me at school this year is because I work on finding things to look forward to or at least commit to so I can't skip. I need to believe things are going to get better otherwise there is no point in anything. My father asked what I'd do if the next Star Wars movie sucked. "It's not going to dad. I haven't even considered it. Because it's very obvious everyone working on this loves what they're doing. And art is the expression of love. In some form or another."

Maybe I was a tad pretentious, but that's alright. I'm a writer, it's my job.

I want everyone to know, I'm doing much better. My depression spell broke, it broke when I found out that my school was doing High School Musical as our school show.

WILDCATS

Listen guys.

I love you. And I love being alive. I try to love everything. It's important to love as much as you can and try and be nice to those who deserve it. Especially your waitress. Tip well.

Thank you.

<3

Bailey S. Fox